What do you get if your budgie flies into the
| Bird jokes
What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender ? Shredded Tweet !
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This morning I felt that today was going to be
| Humor jokes
This morning I felt that today was going to be my lucky day. I got up at seven, had seven dollars in my pocket, there were seven of us at lunch and there were seven horses in the seven o'clock race - so I backed the seventh. Did it win? No, it came seventh.
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A mother was teaching her
| Children jokes
A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into tempt
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Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft
| Aviation jokes
Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ? Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot.
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What do you call a 100 year old ant ?
| Ant jokes
What do you call a 100 year old ant ? An antique !
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Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I’m under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN’T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!