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Guidry called in Plotke, the painter,

| Idiot and fool jokes

Guidry called in Plotke, the painter, for an estimate to paint his house. "How much you gonna charge me?" asked Guidry. "Twenty dollars an hour," replied Plotke. "Good Lord!" exclaimed the home owner. "I wouldn't pay Michelangelo that price!" "I tell you one thing, mister," said the painter. "I

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A student in Belle, West Virginia

| Idiot and fool jokes

A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.

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How do witches lose

| Witch jokes

How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches.

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Why did the stupid racing car driver

| Car and train jokes

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions.

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A cop is staking out a bar

| Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and

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