A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown
| Food jokes
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
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I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
| Dog jokes
I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
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Q: How many Australians does it take to screw
| Ethnic jokes
Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first. A: Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers. A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"
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What did the pig say
| Pig jokes
What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? "Mmm. Canapes."
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I saw the most beautiful
| Car and train jokes
I saw the most beautiful cars in the window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and said: 'Come on in. They're bigger than ever and they last a lifetime! Later I learned he was talking about the payments.
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Playing truant from school is like a credit card Fun now, pay later !