Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
| Marriage jokes
Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.
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Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a
| Music jokes
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?" Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
| Pig jokes
What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up!
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A film crew was on location deep in the
| Journalist jokes
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said
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Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand
| Yo momma jokes
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight.
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An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few “squalls” received a humble lecture from their priest regarding their disgraceful quarrels. “Why, that dog and cat you have agree better than you.” “If yer reverence’ll tie them together, ye’ll soon change yer mind.”