How did the witch almost lose her baby?
| Baby jokes
How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didn't take it far enough into the woods.
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Customer: I'd like a watch that tells
| Time jokes
Customer: I'd like a watch that tells time. Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time? Customer: No, you have to look at it.
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What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career
| Humor jokes
What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career is in ruins !
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A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?” “Oh, Mum,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language…things I’d ever heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home…. Please Mum!” “Sarah,” her mother said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?” “Please don’t make me tell you, Mum,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed, they’re just too awful! Come get me, please!” “Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!” Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!”