How do mountainers send messages?
| E-mail jokes
How do mountainers send messages? By ski-mail.
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Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ?
| Bird jokes
Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ? Because they're both full of stuffing !
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I went to see my doctor to see if he could help
| Food jokes
I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking. What did he say? He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate. Did that do any good? No - I can't get the chocolate to light.
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Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your
| School jokes
Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your head overnight ? Pupil : Of course, I've had this cold in my head for two days !
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A person turned on the computer without a
| Computer jokes
A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't even a keyboard attached?'
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Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?” “They’re Carol’s.”