ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my
| Christmas jokes
ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: Use a pen.
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Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
| Dog jokes
Why did the dog sleep so poorly? By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!
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A father is asked by his
| Children jokes
A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
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Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and
| School jokes
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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Why was the skunk angry?
| Various animal jokes
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed!
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Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job.