I’ve been shopping for

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?

| Cannibal jokes

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.

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Interns think of God, residents pray

| Doctor and nurse jokes

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

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Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat

| Birthday jokes

Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. "Next time, take off the candles."

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What happened when a man fell in love

| Teeth jokes

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."

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What does a monster do when he loses his head?

| Monster jokes

What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter.

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I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!