Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath.

If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples

| Apple jokes

If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs? None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.

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What does the aardvark call his

| Aardvark jokes

What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark!

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Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first

| Sport jokes

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

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What kind of apple isn't an apple?

| Apple jokes

What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple.

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Why don't lobsters share?

| Various animal jokes

Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish.

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Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath. Dad: What’s wrong with that? You’ve seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!