FRED: Your monster was
| Monster jokes
FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing.
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Why does the Philippines ban rectal
| Idiot and fool jokes
Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.
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Someone
| Christmas jokes
Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!
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Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal
| Baby jokes
Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).
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One day two blind men started
| Blind jokes
One day two blind men started fighting. Pretty soon a crowd surrounded them. Then one of the members of the crowd yelled out "I bet 10 bucks on the one with the knife." Both men ran away.
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A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply, “Over my dead body !” He downed his drink and replied, “Well, I see you haven’t changed one little bit.”