Jesus and Satan got into an

How to you know that cows will be in

| Cow jokes

How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.

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What do burgers think when they are

| Burger jokes

What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle.

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Did you hear why they closed the Seattle

| Blonde jokes

Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom? While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

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The cop got out of his car

| Police jokes

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket

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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a

| Doctor and nurse jokes

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's baaaaaaaaaad!

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Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could, and then God would decide the winner. Well, they both got right down to business, and wrote lines and lines and lines of code. But just before the four hours were up there was a flash of lightning and a tremendous clap of thunder. The lights flickered, the power faltered, and both computer screens went dead. When power was restored, God declared that time was up and asked to see the results of their work. Jesus flipped on his computer and displayed the most elegant program you could imagine, with beautiful architecture and wonderful syllogisms, triumphs of multimedia sound and pictures — all kinds of bells and whistles. God asked Satan wha t he had created, but Satan said, “I’ve got nothing, absolutely nothing. My program was twice as good as that, but I lost it all when the power went out. Jesus must have cheated. How could he still have such a great program?” God replied, “Everybody knows — Jesus Saves.”