Category: Movie and TV jokes

Why can’t anyone stay angry long with an actress? Because she always makes up.

Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let’s just say she’d look better on radio than on TV.

Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day. Harry: Why do you say he’s conceited? Fred: Well, every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he went to the window and took a bow.

Why do actors like snooker halls? Because that’s where they get their best cues.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

A bit-part actor finally got his first leading role in a major film. In one scene the actor had to jump off a high diving board in to a swimming pool. He climed to the top of the board, looked down and promptly climbed down again. `What’s the matter?’ asked the director. `I can’t jump from that board! said the actor. `Do you know there’s only one foot of water in that pool?’ ‘Yes,’ said the director. `We don’t want you to drown, you know.

Neighbour: Haven’t I seen you on TV? Actor: Well, I do appear, on and off, you know. How do you like me? Neighbour: Off.

What’s the definition of a good actor? Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative. So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agent’s desk. `So you do bird impressions,’ said the agent, `what else can you do?

Fred: I’d love to be an actress. Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for? Fred: Then you’d be in a cast for weeks.