Q: How do you make a violin sound
| Music jokes
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.
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Father Christmas lost
| Christmas jokes
Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wasn't raining!
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Willie: "I have an awful
| Teeth jokes
Willie: "I have an awful toothache." Tommie: "I'd have it taken out if it was mine." Willie: "Yes, if it was yours, I would, too."
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The policeman arrived at
| Police jokes
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer.
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A neutron walks into a bar.
| Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
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How do long distance runners send e-mail? On the sprin-ternet.