Category Archives: Mental health jokes

What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? If you say to a psychiatrist “I hate my mother,” he will ask “Why do you say that?” while a psychologist will say “Thank you for sharing that with us.”

A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist … Continue reading →

A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty … Continue reading →

Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: “Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you — everyone in the US perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world.”

Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel? Because they are both surrounded by nuts.

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!

Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I’m going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear. Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ? I can’t understand it either, because I planted cabbage !

A woman entered a psychiatrist’s consulting room leadind a kangaroo.”I’m worried about my husband, doctor, ” she said. “He keeps thinking he’s a kangaroo! “

Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate? Psychiatrist: You’ve got multiple personalities.

Fred: “Why are you so upset?” Harry: “My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning.” Fred: “So what?” Harry: “So she said to him, ‘Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I’ve been telling you … Continue reading →