What do you call a python with a great bedside
| Bed jokes
What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer.
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Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's
| Car and train jokes
Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the
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You seem to have more than the average
| Lawyer jokes
You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background, sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
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What did one flea say
| Insect jokes
What did one flea say to the other after a night out ? Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
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A cop pulled up
| Ethnic jokes
A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must work in Technical Support,” says the balloonist. “I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless.” The man below says: “You must be in management.” “I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?” “Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re still in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”