Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying.

| Ethnic jokes

Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

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A snail starts a slow climb up the

| Various animal jokes

A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."

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What's the definition of unlikely?

| Accountant jokes

What's the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's Top Accountants - Nude!.

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How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can

| Weather jokes

How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.

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What is a vampire's

| Vampire jokes

What is a vampire's favourite soup ? Scream of mushroom !

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This guy went into the bar Friday night and ordered three beers, in fact every Friday night he went into the bar and ordered three beers and drank them all by himself. Three beers…every Friday night. Not 2. Never 4. Always 3.

Well, the bartender couldn’
t figure this out. Without fail this guy came in.

The bartender finally said to the guy, “”Every Friday night you come in here and have three beers. There must be a story to this. You never order 2 beers, or 4 beers, always 3.””

The guy said, “”Yes there is a story. You see, me and my two buddies always went out for a beer on Friday night when we were in Vietnam.

One night while we were drinking we decided that we could continue doing this when we returned to the States. We also decided if one of us didn’t make it the other two would drink the third one’s beer. And if two didn’t make it, the third guy would drink the other two beers. The other two didn’t make it back so I’m drinking theirs.”” The bartender felt bad.

Well, the next Friday night the guy came back into the bar as usual but only ordered two beers. The bartender couldn’t believe it. Friday after Friday this guy now ordered only two drinks. This went on for some time and the bartender was so puzzled he just had to ask the guy about it.

The bartender said to him, “”I notice you have only been ordering two beers for the last few weeks. There has to be a story here.””

The guy said, “”Yes indeed there is a story. You see I joined the Mormon church and I can’t drink beer any more.””