What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog
| Bed jokes
What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.
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A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed
| Cat jokes
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me...
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Why don't elephants like martinis?
| Elephant jokes
Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
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There was a great loss today in the
| Dead and dying jokes
There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They put his left leg in.... Well, you know the rest.
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What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food!