Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he

| Apple jokes

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" "That's what they say," said his Dad. "Well, give me an apple quick ? I've just broken the doctor's window!"

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What do you get from a short-legged cow?

| Cow jokes

What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!

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Q: How does a blonde prepare for safe

| Dirty jokes

Q: How does a blonde prepare for safe sex? A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.

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How does an idiot call for his dog?

| Idiot and fool jokes

How does an idiot call for his dog? He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

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Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep.

| Food jokes

Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep. I know, but I want to eat as many as I can before I lose my appetite !

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Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it’s Friday!