Denied membership in an exclusive country

The

| Book title jokes

The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw'

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What is ideal Flight Deck complement for a

| Aviation jokes

What is ideal Flight Deck complement for a modern airliner? A Captain, a Co-pilot and a dog. The dog is there to bite the captain if he tries to touch the controls, and the co-pilot is there to feed the dog.

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Doctor:

| Doctor and nurse jokes

Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!

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What tea do footballers drink ?

| Sport jokes

What tea do footballers drink ? Penaltea !

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Which bird is always out of breath ?

| Bird jokes

Which bird is always out of breath ? A puffin !

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Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said “Hell, I’m no actor, and I’ve got thirty movies to prove it!”