Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that

Why are vampire families so close?

| Vampire jokes

Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water.

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A man leaves a bar,

| Police jokes

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer. Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?". Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machin

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What do you call a parrot when it has dried

| Bird jokes

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? Polly unsaturated!

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A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown

| Political jokes

A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC. He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States

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My grandma has so

| Old age jokes

My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.

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Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That’s what I’m afraid of!