How do you fit
| Elephant jokes
How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !
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Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
| Vampire jokes
Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.
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Which fly captured the ladybird?
| Insect jokes
Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon-fly.
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What do you get if you cross King Kong with
| King Kong jokes
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.
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Cannibal Boy: I've brought a friend
| Cannibal jokes
Cannibal Boy: I've brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we'll have him tomorrow.
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An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes, man, I’ll go and kill my own!” The shopkeeper replied, “By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same. “So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. “They must be the two Marines,” he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw \r nthe gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed “Damn! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”