Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your
| School jokes
Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection ? Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
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Why was the horseman fired from his job of
| Horse jokes
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
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Why did the girl who worked for the
| Telephone jokes
Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator).
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What is the feeling that you've
| Various animal jokes
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew!
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Customer: That crust on
| Waiter jokes
Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.
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Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: “That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.” Third Guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.” They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?” Fourth Guy: “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday.”