Ever since we got married, my wife has tried

This computer

| Computer jokes

This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free. It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!

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Why did the fat monster put

| Birthday jokes

Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!

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What is black and brown and looks

| Lawyer jokes

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

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Eulus stood in front of the take-out

| Restaurant jokes

Eulus stood in front of the take-out window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. "I want two hamburgers," he said. "One with onions, and one without." The counter man: "Okay. Which one's without the onions?"

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The problem

| Computer jokes

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

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Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market, said the man. “Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,” remarked his friend. “I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.”