When is an English teacher like a judge?

What English King invented

| History jokes

What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !

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Diner: May I please have a glass of

| Waiter jokes

Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why, are you thirsty? Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

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How does a witch make scrambled eggs?

| Food jokes

How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.

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What's big and grey and wears a mask

| Elephant jokes

What's big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !

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Q: What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?

| Dinosaur jokes

Q: What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo? A: Bronco-saurus!

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When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.