Vampire 1: "I once went so long without
| Dead and dying jokes
Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time."
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What do you call a man who has lost 95
| Men jokes
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower.
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The seven dwarves are down in the mines when
| Sport jokes
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
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What do witches eat at Halloween?
| Halloween jokes
What do witches eat at Halloween? Spook-etti, Halloweenies, Devil's food cake and Boo-berry pie.
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Doctor, Doctor my
| Doctor and nurse jokes
Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish Poor sole!
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Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says “I want four budgies.” Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don’t care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr… Newfie – I don’t care what color they are, just put four budgies in a box for me. Is that too hard? Salesman – O.K. O.K. The two newfies pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this high cliff in Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and pulls out two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff while flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom. The second newfie looks down at his friend’s twisted remains and says “What a shame. this budgie jumping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!”