Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step
| Christmas jokes
Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!
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At the end of the night a
| Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
At the end of the night a man leaves the bar. Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's done he bends down to her and says, "not so tough tonight, are you
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A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when
| Police jokes
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
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Cannibals capture three men. The men
| Cannibal jokes
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The sec
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The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. “Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!” “The cups man! Save the cups!” cries George. “Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”