A farmer in the country has a watermelon

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a

| Zodiac jokes

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.

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'What's your father's

| Brother and sister jokes

'What's your father's occupation?' asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year. 'He's a conjurer, Ma'am,' said the new boy. 'How interesting. What's his favourite trick?' 'He saws people in half. 'Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' 'One half brother and t

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Q: How do you

| Blonde jokes

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

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What does an octopus wear on a cold

| Various animal jokes

What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms!

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Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the

| Sport jokes

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!" Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!"

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A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!” He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: “NOW THERE ARE TWO!”