A Texan, a Russian, and

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my

| School jokes

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

[ read more ]

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked

| Police jokes

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house w

[ read more ]

Q: How do you make a violin sound

| Music jokes

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

[ read more ]

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby

| Baby jokes

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose.

[ read more ]

Three guys are

| Dirty jokes

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes late

[ read more ]

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease, says the waiter. The Texan says, What’s a shortage? The Russian says, What’s a steak? The New Yorker says, What’s excuse me?