How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly
| Ghost jokes
How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.
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How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty
| Gorilla jokes
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
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What's yellow and writes?
| Banana jokes
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
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What does Father Christmas
| Christmas jokes
What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer!
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Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader’s table. Said the mysterious old woman, “For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future.” Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, “I can see that you have no girlfriend.” “That’s true,” said Paul. “Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren’t you?” “Yes,” Paul shamefully admitted. “That’s amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?” “Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.”