When does a person decide to become an
| Accountant jokes
When does a person decide to become an accountant? When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?
| Dog jokes
What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet? A thousand dogs.
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Doctor, doctor, I'm
| Mental health jokes
Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm
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What's the definition of a cannibal?
| Cannibal jokes
What's the definition of a cannibal? Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!
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What do you get if
| Car and train jokes
What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.
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Why are you crying Fred? asked the teacher. ” ‘Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk. . .” “Fred,” said the teacher. “You must have known that Wisk’s bad for parrots.” “Oh it wasn’t the Wisk that killed it, sir. It was the tumble drier.”