A woman decided to have her portrait painted.
| Marriage jokes
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will re
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Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?
| Music jokes
Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test? A. Drool.
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Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along
| Dirty jokes
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car
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First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird.
| Cannibal jokes
First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.
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Q. Why do only 10
| Heaven and hell jokes
Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
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What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!