When Abraham Liebowitz

One day a blonde woman was down on her luck

| Blonde jokes

One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money. She saw some kids playing and thought "Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!" So she creeps up and snatches one. So she began to write a note: "I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back

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How many honest, intelligent, caring men

| Men jokes

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.

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There were ten zebras in the zoo. All

| Doctor and nurse jokes

There were ten zebras in the zoo. All but nine escaped. How many were left? Nine!

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Why is an egg like a young horse?

| Horse jokes

Why is an egg like a young horse? Because it can't be used until it's broken!

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An army sergeant told Private Perkins

| Idiot and fool jokes

An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned. "I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the NCO. "Why did you come back?" "Because there's already somebody there!"

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When Abraham Liebowitz gets to school he discovers that he is the only Jewish kid in the class. But it’s a decent town and nobody really bothers him. One day the teacher asks the class “Who was the greatest person who ever lived? and why?” And to make it interesting she held a twenty dollar bill in the air and said “whoever gives the best answer will get this twenty dollars”. All of the kids called out their guesses. One said “George Washington – because he was the father of our country.” “That’s excellent” said the teacher. Another said “Abraham Lincoln – because he freed the slaves.” “That’s also good” said the teacher, reluctant to bestow an excellent, but still being polite. One little girl said “Joan of Arc – because she saved France.” Another excellent choice said the teacher. Then Abraham Liebowitz, raised his hand. \r nSo the teacher called on him. “Abraham, who do you think was the greatest person who ever lived, and why?” And Abraham said “Jesus Christ.” The teacher was shocked. “Abraham,” she said “I’m very surprised. Class, I think we can all agree that Abraham should get the twenty dollars.” And she handed Abraham Liebowitz the money. At recess, the teacher was still very impressed. So she asked Abraham why he said Jesus. Abraham said “Look, personally I think Moses was the greatest person who ever lived, but… business is business!”