A drunk is refused a drink

What is a ghost favorite fruit ?

| Banana jokes

What is a ghost favorite fruit ? Boonanaa !

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What has antlers and sucks blood ?

| Insect jokes

What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !

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What pillar doesn't need holding up ?

| Insect jokes

What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !

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A man comes in to the room

| Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?" The husband replies, "No - I'm turning the heating off.

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This is the difference between

| Military jokes

This is the difference between a lousy Golfer and a lousy Parachutist. The lousy Golfer goes splash then damn. The lousy Parachutist goes damn then splash.

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A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober. He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, “You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I’d see four!” The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, “You’re drunker than I thought!”, taking the rest of the alcohol away, “That cat isn’t coming in, it’s going out!”