Fred: You've got a Roman nose.
| Face jokes
Fred: You've got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.
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What do they have for lunch at Monster
| Monster jokes
What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans, boiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes-cream.
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Q: Why did Bill Clinton
| Clinton jokes
Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To meet the chick.
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Farmer Jones bought a herd of pigs from a Roman
| Farmer jokes
Farmer Jones bought a herd of pigs from a Roman farmer who moved into the next valley and boy, is he sorry. The hogs won't come to the feed trough unless he calls them in Pig Latin.
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A police officer pulls over this guy who had
| Police jokes
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma att
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Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean.” The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captain’s next announcement. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the right side.” After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain’s request. Two minutes later, the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement, “Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open you r emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane… “Thank You For Flying Lufthansa.”