A man drinking
| Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A man drinking at the bar for three hours, yells at the bartender for another drink. The bartender walks over and tells the man that he has already had too much to drink. The man looks up from his glass angrily and shouts. "I have been drinking for 36 years and I have no idea when I have had
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Bill:"My homework is really difficult
| Elephant jokes
Bill:"My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."? Bert:"Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.."
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A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated
| Police jokes
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
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What happens when sharks take their
| Various animal jokes
What happens when sharks take their clothes off ? They go sharkers !
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Professor: I forgot to take
| College jokes
Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it, dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.
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A man was being interviewed for a job.
“”Were you in the service?”” asked the interviewer.
“”Yes, I was a Marine,”” responded the applicant.
“”Did you see any active duty?””
“”I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.””
“”May I ask what happened?””
“”Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles.””
“”You’re hired. You can start Monday at 10 am.””
The somewhat surprised applicant asked, “”When does everyone else start? I don’t want any preferential treatment because of my disability.””
“”Everyone else starts at 7 o’clock, but I should be honest with you,”” explained the interviewer. “”Nothing gets done before 10 o’clock because we just sit and scratch our balls trying to decide what to do first.””