Category Archives: Various animal jokes

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

Turtle to turtle: “Don’t ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?”

Why don’t lobsters share? They’re shellfish.

Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he’d beat her with a shovel!

What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.

What happened to the lizard in the wizard’s garden pond? He had him newt-ered.

There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why ? Because that was … Continue reading →

One goldfish to his tankmate: “If there’s no God, who changes the water?”