Category Archives: Various animal jokes

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, “What would you like?” the fish says holding his neck, “Water”.

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. “There’s a human with a gun, and he’s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?” To which the second skink calmly replied, “Let us spray .”

A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into … Continue reading →

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little S’s painted all around and … Continue reading →

One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him … Continue reading →

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!

One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?

Mama bear to Papa bear: “Well… You might call it hibernating — I call it ‘goofing off’.”

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on … Continue reading →

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: “Mother said there would be knights like this.”