Category Archives: Police jokes

Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor? Officer: He was trying to take someone’s pulse.

Police Chief: Why are you putting handcuffs on that building? Officer: I’m making a house arrest

Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation.

Cop: Why didn’t you stop when I shouted at you back there? Motorist: I thought you were saying “Good morning, Mr. Mayor.” Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Woman: Officer you must help. I’ve just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly, ma’am, we’ll comb the area.

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm? He has a flashing light.

Ill have to report you, sir, said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. “You were doing 85 miles an hour.” “Nonsense, officer,” declared the driver. “I’ve only been in the car for ten minutes.”

What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop.

What did the police officer say to his stomach? I’ve got you under a vest.