Category Archives: Marriage jokes

I was in a very generous mood today, a woman says to her friend. “I gave a poor beggar $25.” “Thats a lot of money to give away,” says her friend. “What did your husband say?” “He said, ‘Thank you’. … Continue reading →

An English professor wrote the words, “woman without her man is a savage” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is a savage.” The women wrote: “Woman: Without her, … Continue reading →

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The … Continue reading →

NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands? SAGE: Clever men don’t BECOME husbands!

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn’t believe in hell.

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s … Continue reading →

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: “Quick! My husband is back!” Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: “Shit! But I am the husband!”

Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say? Husband: He asked if the coast was clear…

A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close. “Oh, no, it’s my husband!” The man says, “Where’s your back door?” “We don’t … Continue reading →