Category Archives: Doctor and nurse jokes

What kind of physician works on a cruise liner? A dry doc.

Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work? A: In case they have to draw blood.

Doctor, Doctor I’m on a diet and it’s making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, that’s a lot of calories !

Doctor, Doctor I’m a burglar ! Have you taken anything for it ?

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots ? I never make rash promises !

Doctor, Doctor you’ve taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don’t feel well. That’s quite enough out of you !

Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said … Continue reading →

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None – They just have a nursing assistant do it.

How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility? She’s the one with dirty knees.

1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator? Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.