Category Archives: Doctor and nurse jokes

Doctor, doctor! said the panic-stricken woman, “my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he’s swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?” “Quite simple,” said the doctor calmly. “You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of … Continue reading →

Doctor: “Good news you passed your hearing test!” Patient: “HUH”

Jack: “My brother was sick and went to the doctor.” John: “Is he feeling better now?” Jack: “No, he has a broken arm.” John: “How did he break it?” Jack: “Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him … Continue reading →

The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure? Doctor: Yes, that is true. P: And, is it true that coffee increases blood pressure? D: Yes, that is also true. P: So, in average, I live normally.

When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, … Continue reading →

A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of woman friends … Continue reading →

Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he’s a computer. Well bring him in so I can cure him. I can’t, I need to use him to finish my homework.

Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle of aspirin and a pot of glue? Why? Because I’ve been at my computer all day and I’ve got a splitting headache!

The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you … Continue reading →

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday? Saturday Night Fever.