Category Archives: Divorce jokes

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.” The … Continue reading →

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what … Continue reading →

Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, “How much … Continue reading →

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter “O.” “Why’d you put that circle down?” asked the clerk. “Cause Ah can’t write,” replied the girl. “Why don’t you sign … Continue reading →

Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said: “I’m going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month.” To which the woman’s about-to-be ex … Continue reading →

Q: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The sockets all went with the house.

Regardless of what you may hear, there’s still many women these days who are excellent “housekeepers”. Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.

Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.

Two men are talking. The first sez, “I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.” “Amazing,” said the second, “I just got divorced for the very same reasons.”