Category Archives: Dead and dying jokes

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and … Continue reading →

There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song “Hokey Pokey” died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They put his left leg in…. … Continue reading →

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. “Reverend,” she wailed, “John and I had a DREADFUL fight!” “Calm down, my child,” said the minister, “it’s not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has … Continue reading →

Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup ! Yes, it’s the rotting meat that attracts them !

What are you doing? I’m trying to call Washington! Oh, haven’t you heard? He’s dead!

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon ? Because he was dead !

When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave ? Rust in peace !

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ? Because he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What is posthumous work ? Something written by someone after they are dead !

What did the little kid do with the dead battery? He buried it.