Category Archives: Bed jokes

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.

Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay.

When is your mind like a rumpled bed? When it isn’t made up yet.

When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it.

How can you shorten a bed? Don’t sleep long in it.

Why shouldn’t you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying.

Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you.

Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds.

Sonny: I can’t sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you’ll be sure to drop off!

Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed? Jane: I can’t answer. I didn’t know I was supposed to keep count!