Category Archives: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. “Say,” he said to the bartender, “how tall is a penguin?” “About two and a half feet.” “Thank God!” cried Monahan. “I thought I ran over a nun!”

The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment … Continue reading →

Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so … Continue reading →

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. “What the heck are you … Continue reading →

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, “Why not? We’re cultured … Continue reading →

Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the … Continue reading →

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot. When … Continue reading →

A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, “Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight.” The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse … Continue reading →