Category Archives: Baby jokes

How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.

Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant’s milk. Whose baby was it? The elephant’s!

Do you like your new baby sister? She’s all right. Do you play with her? No, and we can’t even send her back because she’s been here more than 28 days.

Who is bigger – Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger’s baby? Mrs Bigger’s baby, because he’s a little Bigger.

Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I’d much rather have a jelly baby.

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et.

A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker. “What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded. “I’m just entertaining the baby,” explained Tommy. … Continue reading →

I see the baby’s nose is running again,” said a worried father. “For goodness sake!” snapped his wife. “Can’t you think of anything other than horse racing?”

Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. “

Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it’s a nappy time.