Category Archives: Accountant jokes

A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. “Was he tall or was he short?” The businessman replies, “Both!”

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”

What’s a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.

Who was the first accountant? Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.

Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don’t 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will

How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Hmmm……..I’ll just do a few numbers and get back to you

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb? How many did it take last year?’

Why did he cross back? So he could charge the client for travel expenses.

Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

What does FCPA stand for? Finally Caught Pinching the Assets’