Category Archives: Accountant jokes
Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large
Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large manufacturing concern. Every day, on arriving at work, he would unlock the top drawer of his desk, peer at something inside, then close and lock the drawer. He had done this … Continue reading
An auditor was examining the balance sheet
An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station … Continue reading
An auditor is checking the books of
An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation. “It was late at night’ says … Continue reading
The managing partner in an accounting firm
The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him. “How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did? That was completely unethical. … Continue reading
The doctor comes to see his heart
The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient. “This is good news. It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart.” The patient is pleased. He asks, “What were their jobs?” “One … Continue reading
The auditors have just left,
The auditors have just left, sir. “Did they check the books?” “Very thoroughly.” “What did they say?” “They want 15% to keep quiet.”
Wife to husband as they watch their young
Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: “He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”
Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to
Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: “No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn’t be tax deductible, but I like your thinking”.
The accountant had just read the story of
The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, … Continue reading
A Martian lands to plunder,
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, “I’m a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We’re here to destroy your civilisation, … Continue reading